Current mood:

mischievous

Is it Cara or Kara?
Link: Together at Last

Summary:When Harry was born, he had a twin sister, but when the Potter's house was burned down, she was taken to Italy. Now, in Harry's Sixth year at Hogwarts, he will find his sister, and acomplish things he never thougt possible--until now! Please R&R! AU


Princess Victoria: I know it says AU, and, we'll take that into consideration, but it doesn't make up for the fact that it's a bad fic.


We give this a:




Chapter 1

Princess Victoria: It starts off with Voldemort's arrival at Gordic's Hallow, with some bad dramatic writing. During the battle, this occurs:

"'Stupefy!' James hurtled a curse at Voldemort, angry for calling his wife a foul name."

Ok, let me get this straight. Voldemort is coming to kill you and your family, and the only reason you hex him is because he is called your wife a foul name? Riiiight... OH! And the first curse you use is 'Stupefy'? WTF?!
Kara/Cara's name is spelt with a "K" in this scene.


Princess Joy: In the scene where Lily dies, Kara is spelt with a "C" but then switches back again.


Princess Joy: It sounds to me like there's three children, not two.


Princess Victoria: Hagrid seems to not really care about the events that unfolded at all.


Princess Joy: So, Sirius finds Kara, and says this, "Italy! We can send her to Italy!". W. T. F.?


Princess Victoria: I guess the author knew we would have that reaction, so she summed up Sirius' reasoning: Sirius had had a girlfriend in Hogwarts (The wizarding school in England) from Italy, and she had been an exchange student from Italy, and she had told him about her old school like Hogwarts, called Weatherwoods. It was also a magical school, and Sirius was now intent on getting Kara there.

Right. Girlfriend. That's it. *taps nose*


Princess Victoria:Then the author sticks in about 50 "A/N's" and bits of information in "()". *spork*


(A/N: Okay, at Weatherwoods, you CAN apparate on to the grounds, they just have higher security at the school, kay?)

Princess Joy: Apparently, we've been told.


Princess Victoria: "Kara Evans" is her name. Yup, not Kara Potter, I wonder how James felt?


Princess Joy: I would like to slap some sense into this author. I mean, if she's read the books even once, she'd know comments like the following wouldn't be needed: “Okay, let me get this. That babies name is Kara Evans. Her parents were just murdered by You-Know-Who. (A/N: Voldemort was so big that everyone knew about him in the wizarding world.) And you want her to stay here, in hopes that she will be more safe?” The Headmaster questioned.


"“Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much! If you need anything, just ask me, and I’ll help!” Sirius exclaimed happily."


Princess Victoria: So, Sirius sounds like a fangirl.


Total Number of Kara's: 11
Total Number of Cara's: 2
Total Number of Pointless Author's Notes: 8




Chapter 2

So, now Harry could walk around, ordering his Uncle about.

Princess Victoria:I doubt that very much. Even if they were threatened, Vernon would be ordered.
And thanks for that review of OotP. It's not like anyone forgot what happened to Sirius. *tries to wash salt out of wound*


So now, Sirius was dead, and he couldn’t enjoy his summer, like he had hoped to.

Princess Joy: Damn you Sirius! Why did you have to die?! You ruined everything! *shakes fist*


Harry ... walked over to his window, yanking open the black curtains he had Vernon place there.

Princess Victoria: Black curtains? So, Harry is all angsty now.


“You said it Kara!” A blonde haired girl laughed to her friend, Kara Evans.

Princess Joy: Yeah, I figured she was talking to Kara Evans when she said "Kara"


So, the two best friends marched over to the doorway and rang the very proper doorbell, which had obviously not been the original one.

Princess Joy: Well, there's a trip to the Department of Backstory that didn't need to go on.


“Evans?” Harry asked, completely curious, and you would be two if you had seen a person that looks almost exactly like you, and has the exact same shade of eye color, that is very rare. And don’t forget the fact that they have your mother’s maiden name! You would be curious, as I said.

Princess Victoria: Would I? Would I? How do you know???!!! *spork*


Princess Victoria: There he goes rubbing Sirius' death in everyone's face again. Fuck Harry, we all miss him.


Princess Joy: So Kara and Sara *vomit* live in a "really big!" place. It must be big because it was mentioned a bunch of times.


“Sweetness!” Harry was so happy and was thinking his summers here might just get a little better.

Princess Joy: You'd think Harry has no friends.


The girls gasped. “I have a scar exactly like that one, but I thought it was just from a wicked fall! And are you really Harry Potter? The boy- who-lived?” Kara blinked.

Princess Victoria: Ok, so in the recored books that Kara's OC friend has, it shows that Kara does have a twin, now, if she is an orphan, why didn't she look in that book before?!


And that was the first time in months that Harry felt truly happy.

Princess Victoria: Wouldn't Harry be more hurt and confused that they
kept him from the knowledge that he even had a sister? Would't a lot of people have lots of explaining to do?


Total Number of Kara's: 45
Total Number of Cara's: 2
Total Number of Pointless Author's Notes: 8




Princess Joy and Princess Victoria: So, basically, this story could be good, even excellent. But, well, the writing could use some work. I'm sure if the author had taken the time to find a beta and have her 'chappies' beta'd, it would be much more readable. But she didn't, so at times it was hard to keep track of what was going on. Hopefully she'll think twice before posting unedited fics again.